Dear besties, Here’s one important thing you need to know about hip-hop queen Lil’ Kim: she loves Vermont. Like, a lot. She told us so about 350 times at Wednesday night’s show at Higher Ground. But she doesn’t love us in the same way that your grandma loves you. She doesn’t want to bake you [...]
Posts Tagged as ‘burlington’
April 26, 2010
Fat-grabbing with Kaki King
Dear besties, Last week, it was my birthday. Perhaps you were aware of that, since it’s the most important day on our modern Gregorian calendar, Anyway, for my birthday, guitar virtuoso Kaki King decided to come to Burlington and play a show for me, along with some other people I didn’t invite (like that drunk [...]
March 23, 2010
Shredding Church Street With Hannah Teter
Dear besties, Ben & Jerry’s Free Cone Day (also known as Americans Getting Fatter Day) is upon us. Generally, I try to stay as far away from the Free Cone Day as I possibly can. For one thing, I hate waiting in line. Especially not for a $2.50 ice cream cone that’s only going to [...]
November 23, 2009
The Great Turkey Chase
Dear besties, On a normal Saturday in November, I’d be sitting on the couch, twiddling my thumbs and cursing myself for ever moving to this god forsaken land of Canada Minor. But this past Saturday, I got up off my fat duff and did something productive — I rode in the second annual Great Turkey [...]
November 16, 2009
Lunch with Lauren
Dear besties, Go to Penny Cluse. Order “Lunch with Lauren.” Think of me as you eat my eponymous dish. If the plate is anything like me, it’ll immediately give you a searing stomachache and a lot of gas*. But it’ll be worth the aggravation. The good folks at Penny Cluse were nice enough to name [...]
October 27, 2009
GWAR + dog costumes = the best Tuesday ever!
Dear besties, Yesterday, my coworker Dan Bolles mentioned to me in passing that GWAR, the scat, sex and sci-fi-loving shock rock band, would be judging the 14th annual dog Halloween costume contest at Burton on Tuesday. Come again? You mean GWAR, of the 3-foot protruding phalluses and gigantic swinging ball sacs? Yes, the very same. [...]
October 26, 2009
Why Do People Hate Safety? Or, How I Spent My Friday Night
Dear besties, Recently, I’ve been asking myself the question in this post’s title. Why do people hate safety? What is so offensive about trying to be safe and not die a bloody, mangled mess? Perhaps I should explain what I’m talking about. For the past couple months, the GF and I have been volunteering for [...]
October 15, 2009
Yar, it be a pumpkin!
Dear besties, If you haven’t seen the video of the Giant Pumpkin Regatta, featuring your very best friend, me, I would encourage you to check it out.
October 12, 2009
The Police Chief Cheated, and other tales from the Giant Pumpkin Regatta
Dear besties, Sunday marked the first time I have ever sat inside a giant piece of produce. It also marked the first time I have ever rowed a giant piece of produce on Lake Champlain. But when you’re a celebrity like me, you participate in quaint community activities like this, if only to give the [...]
