You know what sucks more than riding a chair lift by yourself? Riding a chair lift with four foul-mouthed, flatulent ‘tweens who want nothing more than for you to take your pathetic ass and hurl it to the snowy depth below. But this is my life. Or at least my life for the next two [...]
Posts Tagged as ‘Burton’
October 27, 2009
GWAR + dog costumes = the best Tuesday ever!
Dear besties, Yesterday, my coworker Dan Bolles mentioned to me in passing that GWAR, the scat, sex and sci-fi-loving shock rock band, would be judging the 14th annual dog Halloween costume contest at Burton on Tuesday. Come again? You mean GWAR, of the 3-foot protruding phalluses and gigantic swinging ball sacs? Yes, the very same. [...]
October 9, 2008
TOP SECRET NUDIENESS
My prayers have been answered. Well, at least the one where I prayed for a snowboard that featured a hairy naked man from the 1970s splayed across it. Someone out there in Internetland made the snowboard of my dreams. It’s called “The Burt” and it features Burt Reynolds’ clothing-optional 1972 centerfold shot from Cosmopolitan magazine. [...]
October 1, 2008
Nudies and gnar
The villagers are fuming and they’re storming towards Burton with pitchforks and stakes! They demand justice! Head for the hills! That’s pretty much what it feels like here with all the angry e-mails and calls I’ve gotten about Burton’s new Love line of snowboards that have naked Playboy bunnies splayed across the top sheet. And [...]
August 8, 2008
Dude, dude, bro, dude
Dude, bro. Dude, check it out. Bro, after a crazy late night of rippin’ parties all over B-town, I hauled my sweet one over to Burton for the big snowboard sale. Dude, it was off the chain. There were, like, so many people there, bro. It was nuts. So flippin’ sweet, though. So many freakin’ [...]
