I cannot tell you how excited I am. OK, I’ll tell you. On Sept. 1, in the year of our lord two thousand niner, Fred Phelps, the hate-spewing sign-monger from Kansas, will be gracing us with his presence here in the Green Mountain State. Well, he’ll probably just be sending his minions, and by minions I mean his toothy daughter Shirley and her umpteen inbred children. They’re coming to protest our little state for crimes against a wrathful God or some such nonsense.
This is what hilarity looks like.
Here’s a little background on Mr. Phelps (no relation to human fish cum mad toker Michael Phelps) and his Westboro Baptist Church. Apparently God visited Phelps and was all like, “Yo son, what’s wrong with this world? Dudes are doing other dudes and it goes against my will ‘n’ shit.” And Phelps was all like, “Oh, word, homes. Guys screwing other guys in the poopshoot ain’t cool. I gotta do sumpin’ about this.” And God was all like, “Dawg, you need to represent me on Earth. Ain’t nobody down there listening to me.” And Phelps was all like, “God/Jesus/the holy spirit, I feel you. You can count on me.” Then he started making crazypants signs that say God Hates Fags and Thank God For AIDS and other awesome stuff like that. Sign Guy Steve totally ripped them off.