Dear people who are gay and/or people who like to hang out with gay people,
Word on the street is that there’s a new gay joint in town. I got this little nugget of news from a very reputable source- my own little personal idea fairy. The idea fairy told me that shoehorned in between the Quizno’s and the dubiously named “Hairy Bear” children’s hair salon on Williston Rd. in South Burlington, is a space that is being turned into a gay bar. This would surely be welcome news for the aforementioned people in the salutation.
This is Quiznos.
This is a hairy bear.
Since Burlington’s only gay bar, 135 Pearl, became a greasy pizza joint more than two years ago, the gays and the friends of the gays have had no place to get their dance on. Once a month, there has been a gay-themed dance party at Higher Ground, but increasingly it’s become more just gay-friendly. Heaps of breeders come to dance and watch the shirtless, sweaty boys shake it to Madonna. Oh, I’m sorry. I was having flashbacks to my time in the Village. Ok, who am I fooling? I’ve never been to A village, let alone THE Village. But I digress.
Since the idea fairy dropped this little pellet in my lap, I’ve been curious about whether the rumor was true. So I hopped in my super awesome Pontiac Vibrator and headed over to SoBu. I drove around the parking lot for a good seven minutes looking like a total narc before I found the space the idea fairy alluded to. It was non-descript like gay bars used to be back in the day when a popular Friday night drinking game was “Smear the Queer.” The windows were frosted over with some sort of black paint and there was no sign out front. I parked in front and walked up to the door. I peaked in through a hole in the black frosting and saw the makings of a bar- high tables and stools, sound equipment and a bar, oddly. The few people inside looked my way, at which point I hopped in the ‘Rator and took off. And by took off I mean that I gunned the sick four-cylinder engine and got zero to 60 in about 10 minutes.
Anyway, word on the street has it that the place will be called “Dorothy’s”- a shout-out no doubt to gay icon and mother of a Liza with a Z not Lisa with an S, Judy Garland- and that its soft launch is tonight. If that’s the case, methinks they’ve got a lot of work to do, unless their theme is “dive bar that got foreclosed on.” Its soft launch corresponds with First Friday, the gay-friendly dance night at Higher Ground. Coincidence? Yeah, probably.
UPDATE- So the place isn’t called Dorothy’s after all. Apparently the idea fairy got some bunk information. It’s actually called Two Friends Bistro, which is infinitely less catchy than Dorothy’s. Whatevs. At midnight it was pretty much cleared out, so either it attracts an early-to-bed crowd or people went to the dance party instead.