From the Department of Big-Ass Mea Culpas:
Well, friends, it turns out that America’s favorite scrappy-do movie star was NOT actually in Vermont over Easter. Contrary to what I wrote a little more than a week ago and what a number of online gossip sites “reported” around that time, Sandra Bullock did not dine at the Fair Haven Inn on the day Jesus rose from the dead.
Yikes! That means I was wrong. But how could that have happened? I’m never wrong.
A few days after Sandra Bullock took home the Oscar for best gal-next-door actress, it was revealed that her motorcyclist husband Jesse James was slumming it with a woman who has multiple facial tattoos and a fascination with White Power. Classy.
Naturally, our pal Sandy went into hiding after the philandering was revealed. What else do you do when your husband, whom you credit your career turnaround, has been caught engaging in a colossal act of scumbaggery?
But Sandy, sweet Sandy, didn’t bury her head under a mountain of eiderdown pillows on her California king-size bed. No, the Blind Side sasspot repaired to the Vermont countryside where she could cry on the shoulder of her sister Gesine far from the long lenses of the Hollywood paps. Gesine used to own the eponymous bakery in Montpelier and currently peddles fancy French macarons (they’re not macaroons, you philistine hayseeds) from somewhere in southern Vermont.